"Brought to you by
the Cannis Games
Editing Network" |
 |
"News from across
the Network and
around the Site" |
June 26, 2006 / Vol. 1, No. 1 / Weather: Partly cloudy with a chance of scattered tsunamis. / www.cannis.net
IN THIS ISSUE:
The Phiend interviews... the Phiend!
And quite the hostile witness he turns out to be. Read...
Creation of the Heavens Explained.
By a gfx god. Find out more...
Shooting Womp-Rats in Beggar's Canyon.
Don't tell PETA. The scoop...
|
|
:: Departments ::
|
|
"What do you mean, 'Internet' isn't a verb?"
|
The Editor's Desk
Welcome to the C-GEN NewsLetter!
(Cue absurdly overemphatic music)... Our mission: To explore strange new...mods! To keep you, the
readers, informed of activity at Cannis Game Editing Network, on hosted site and forum alike.
To seek out new life and new... modifications! To boldly go where no newsletter has gone...
OK, enough of this crap. CUT THE MUSIC.
You may be wondering what possibly possessed us to publish a newsletter. To be perfectly honest, we
thought that writing it would amuse us. Pretty much that's the only real reason.
|
But if pressed to come up with something that sounds more responsible, I suppose I could say that we're
doing it because we've got a bunch of talented and creative people, who do really excellent work when
they put their minds to it... but, perish forbid they ever let the rest of the community know what they're up to!
Nope, these guys simply don't understand the value of self-promotion. Or else maybe they're too lame or just too
lazy to give themselves some justified hype by making a news post from time to time. I yell at them, I plead with
them, I beg them. But noooo... they just won't do it.
|
So, we're going to promote them in a newsletter, whether they want it or not. But this promotion service comes with
a price. We're going to do it our way. And that means we'll give in to the temptation to lampoon them and have our fun
with them. Probably we'll make complete fools of ourselves in the process. In any case, we think you'll be entertained,
by what we hope will be the first of many newsletters.
Onward!
-CannisRabidus
|
Mods & Projects
Revenge of the Sith Rats
- by Airstriker
Scene: Darth Vader's comm room, Executor
Emperor Palapatine's head materializes in space...
Vader: What is thy bidding, my master?
Palpatine: I have sensed a great disturbance in the Force...
Vader: I have felt it too, my master. The womp rats are acting up again.
Palpatine: No, not the womp rats, you idiot. Something more important... We have a new enemy. An enemy who will change the very rules by which we wage war against the Rebellion. The Modder Airstriker must die, or at least stop messing with the accuracy of our Tartans!
|
Vader: He's just a boy. And the Rebels' Corellian Corvettes are having accuracy problems too...
Palpatine: He could destroy us.
Vader: If he could be turned, he would be a powerful ally...
(muttering) And then you can get someone else to do the dirty work.
|
Palpatine: Yes... yes... bring young Airstriker before me. Together, can we mold Airstriker's rules of war to our own ends. With him, we will remove the new shields on the Rebellion T4-Bs and replace the PLEX Trooper's PLEX missile launcher with squirt guns!
Vader: Yes, my master. He will mod for us, or die.
Palpatine: Good... good... Now, ensure that the Rebels have evacuated Yavin IV before you chase him, so that Airstriker will have a head start.
Palpatine's head fades away, Vader stands, yawns, and stretches before exiting
- End Scene
|
TX 2.02a out now!
- by Airstriker and Cylor
That's right, version 2.02a of the YR Terrain Expansion is out!!!
For those unfamiliar with the project, the TX expands on the built-in terrain sets in
Yuri's Revenge, allowing mappers to create much more detailed maps, sometimes enhancing the gameplay as well, by removing the need for
distracting workarounds with incomplete tilesets.
|
But mostly the TX just expands on the features of the base game by adding a host of
useless little things, like urban waterfalls and such, because DJBREIT felt like adding it.
It also adds stuff like tunnels, and train tracks, so mappers can confuse you with endless tunnels and turn their otherwise good maps into
one of those stupid minature train sets that you thought you'd seen the last of when you were 8 years old.
|
The changes in this release include redone minimap colors, correcting a bug involving tunnel entrances (of course,
DJBREIT couldn't get it right the first time), and various graphical improvements.
More info, as well as the TX itself, can be found at the
TX website.
Unfortuately, technical difficulties regarding the Rock Patch have allowed DJBREIT to go
back on his promise of adding working train bridges. Lazy jerk.
|
My, my, YR Squared needs AI
- by The Phiend (parody of American Pie by Don McLean)
Once upon a time, right now,
There was a mod led by a cow.
YR Squared the mod was called.
He asked for some help with AI,
A couple guys gave it a try,
Then quit, leaving MooMan quite appalled.
It was a lot of work to do,
And attend university too.
But no more help would he ask,
Since everyone quit the task.
A dilemma now, he could not choose,
So he made a new poll, and posted news,
To ask his fans what are their views,
To prooooceed with... this mod.
And he was saying:
|
My, my, YR Squared needs AI.
People quitting,
Thus we're getting
All these cows high and dry;
MooMan asks his fans, with a tear in his eye:
"Should I release it with a basic AI?
Or fine-tune 'til the day that I die?"
Fancy units are really fine,
With functioning nearly divine,
But such talent is hard to see.
For even graced with all that pride,
It's limited to the human's side,
And not even touched by their enemy.
Now you might think this song is fake,
But cow jokes prove there's much at steak!
|
I hate to see mods just die.
It even can make me cry.
But there's something we can do:
Just as MooMan has asked you to,
Answer his poll, and answer true.
Maybe, it'll save... this mod.
And we were singing:
My, my, YR Squared needs AI.
People quitting,
Thus we're getting
All these cows high and dry;
MooMan asks his fans, with a tear in his eye:
"Should I release it with a basic AI?
Or fine-tune 'til the day that I die?"
|
From the Forums
"Will We Be Gods?"*
- by The Phiend
Yes, yes we shall. Because Blaze is selling canned divinity. Well, except for the selling. And the canning. And... the divinity.
BUT. He made an awesome
thread on creating planets in Photoshop.
An awesome tutorial, even. And the formation of planets is pretty dang close to divinity. So go, go look at the celestial tutorial
and say "OOH, PRETTY." Are you going yet? ARE YOU? GAH, GO ALREADY, ASCENSION AWAITS YE... THEE... YOU!
(C-GEN shall not be responsible for any jihads or crusades resulting from concurrent planet creation in the same sector of space.
Well, technically you can hold C-GEN responsible if you want, but we'll just mock you if you do.)
* quote by Jason
|
|
More Forum Stuff
- compiled by The Phiend
Here's a (short) list of some of the more interesting/weird/boredom-killing threads of famed length in our General Discussions forum.
- Word Association, where
each post's word (or occasionally phrase) is mentally associated to the one before it by the poster. (I suggest skipping to the
last page in the thread, as you might
die before you actually read all 13,000+ posts).
- CGEN Playlist, where you can see what kind of
music people are listening to at the time of their post. Be careful though, you just might find people vomiting if they don't care for
what you post (THAT'S RIGHT WINKEY, DON'T THINK COLDPLAY IS GOING TO PAY FOR THE MESS YOU MADE ON MY SHIRT!)
- More Funnies, filled with jokes, presumably funny
ones. What bothers me is that this thread is "More Funnies", but I couldn't find any sign of the original "Funnies" in my whole half
minute of searching... it's a conspiracy!
Now remember: if you mess with the discussion, you might get a concussion.
|
Fearless Feature
Interview with the vampire...I mean, the Phiend
- by The Phiend
And to kick off the first fearless feature, I shall interview... The Phiend.
The Phiend: Welcome to the studio, me!
The Phiend: Thanks, me! But what studio? This looks an awful lot like a nondescript room to me...
The Phiend: Well... yes! It's the Studio of Nondescription.
The Phiend: What a lousy name for producing creative works.
The Phiend: ...Moving on. What's going on over at Federal Knight?
The Phiend: The most notable thing to mention is that Footman Team Fortress is nearly ready to be released, with tons of cool new stuff.
The Phiend: Cool new stuff, huh? Could you possibly be any more vague?
The Phiend: Yes.
The Phiend: How?
The Phiend: Like so.
The Phiend: What? You aren't even saying... ahh. I got it. Well, could you describe any of this cool new stuff?
The Phiend: Sure. Oh, you want me to actually provide description, don't ya? That whole "Studio of Nondescription" thing threw me off... Well, we've got a new spawning system that allows for mass reinforcements, instead of piecemeal troops getting slaughtered one by one. That's new.
The Phiend: I imagine troop slaughter is bad.
|
The Phiend: Depends on if you're on the slaughtered or slaughtering side. Anyway, we also have a bunch of new hero abilities to replace some... less awesome ones.
The Phiend: Less awesome?
The Phiend: Yes. For example, the Tower Sorceress now has a magic missile spell that behaves more like... magic missiles.
The Phiend: I see... anything else you'd care to mention?
The Phiend: Sure! The various researches, that used to be scattered all over various buildings that you'd need to build, have been combined and condensed, and now your base building handles ALL the researches. Assign a hotkey and all your upgrades are but a keypress and a click away!
The Phiend: Uh-huh. Now tell me, hasn't it been almost a year since this version was first started on?
The Phiend: Err, yeah...
The Phiend: Sheesh, what's taking so long?
The Phiend: Well, among other things there's that "real life" stuff I keep hearing about. I understand TAG has a real bad case of it, and it takes a bunch of his time. Aside from that, Federal Knight has a ton of various projects in the works, and we can't work on everything all at once...
The Phiend: Are you sure you aren't just lazy?
The Phiend: I'm just as lazy as you are.
The Phiend: Hey!
...And with that I'll end the interview. That guy can be so cranky, I tell ya.
|
News From Beyond
Congratulations to Frank Klepacki
- by Wrecking Crew
That legend of Command and Conquer music, Frank Klepacki,
recently celebrated his 32nd birthday. Beginning in 1995 (do the math), Frank wrote the music for all the Command & Conquer games
with the notorious exception of Generals. Currently his work graces Star Wars: Empire at War. No word on whether we'll see his
exceptional work return in EA's upcoming Command & Conquer 3.
When interviewed, Frank said he has been writing music for almost
half his life. He has a feel for the moody but stirring themes required for these games, this writer's personal favorites being
"Hell March 2" and "Grinder". (Ed. note: Hey, HM2 is great, no denying it, but it's the original Hell March
that really does it for me). Here at C-GEN we like his work so much, we've been helping gamers for some time now to
get his entire C&C repertoire into Yuri's Revenge. Go to Frank's site
and see for yourself what a genius can do with music.
|
|
One More Cup of Coffee
- by AcidRoach
A former employee of Westwood Studios (who prefers to remain nameless) has released a previously unknown alternate cutscene,
from the Yuri's Revenge game, to a select few members of the modding community. From what we've heard, the cutscene was to
be played at the end of the game when the player defeated Yuri as the Allied commander, and features Lt. Eva in ways, err...
well let's say in ways we've never seen her before.
One of the members of the community who reportedly has this video in his possession is none other than
DeeZire, and we hear he's looking forward to enabling this new content
in his Yuri's Revenge mod, in the same way as he's enabled other unused content in the past.
We'll say little else about this, except that if you're familiar with the GTA San Andreas Hot Coffee Mod,
then you'll have an idea of what to expect. Athena Massey (who plays Lt. Eva in both Red Alert 2 and YR)
could not be reached for comment.
|
| :: C-GEN Newsletter Staff ::
Editor-In-Chief: CannisRabidus
Managing Editors: The Phiend, Cylor, Flak
Contributing Editor: Jason
Art Directors: Blaze, Flak
Newsmonkeys: Wrecking Crew, DCoder,
AcidRoach, Airstriker, Blaze
© 2006 Cannis Games Editing Network
All your base are belong to C-GEN.
|
|
:: Disclaimer ::
Except where expressly noted, all written articles in this newsletter are the property of their respective writers,
and any screenshots or other media from mod projects are the property of their respective mod owners.
While we have done our best to ensure the quality and accuracy of said articles,
we cannot be held responsible for errors or faulty precognition.
Of course this claim of accuracy does not apply in cases where we just made things up.
In any event, you can be damned sure that we won't be held responsible for any damages, real or implied,
caused by the use or misuse of these articles or images.
The C-GEN Newsletter is not for everyone. Ask your doctor if you're healthy enough for sexual activity.
No claim is made over ownership of any external links, nor can we guarantee the ongoing accuracy of any such sites so linked.
Professional driver on a closed course; do not attempt.
No womp rats have been harmed in the making of this newsletter.
As a last resort, should we find our backs up against the wall, we plan to plead incompetence, if not outright insanity.
|
|